I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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