I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
