If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
