White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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