Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
