i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
