the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
