Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
