Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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