I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
