If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
