well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
