ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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