maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
