we're blogging at a bar
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
