After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize