I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
