Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
