You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
