If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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