I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
