I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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