google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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