I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just want to make out with him forever
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
