i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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