Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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