I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Reggie can tackle my bush.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
