is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
