Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
