Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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