The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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