She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just pee around me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
