I'm sorry my penis didn't work
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
