Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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