some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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