that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize