I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
