are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
