At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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