i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
