No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
