If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
