It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
only you would photoshop your dick
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
