yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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