no, he came in my armpit
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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