READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
