...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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