She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
