Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
