I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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