I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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