Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
