I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
