nut hugger
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize