plz talk dirty to me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
