I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
