i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
